Pastor Bob's sermon this morning was about six important words in our vacabulary, broken up into two columns of three. As someone who has trouble forgiving, the message immediately touched my heart. The words come from the Five Languages of Apology (Chapman/Thomas).
The first three important words are "I am sorry." They are important because they open up communication and allow healing. Some of the reasons that prevent us from saying them are pride, ego, self-centeredness, and denial.
How should we say these words?
1. With heartfelt regret. Say the three words and be specific about why you are apologizing. "I am sorry what I said about your cooking." As Pastor Bob pointed out, it is important not to follow this phrase with "but," as in, "I am sorry what I said about your cooking, but burning the casserole did make it taste awful."
2. Accept responsibility. "I was wrong for criticizing your thoughtfulness in making me dinner."
3. Make restitution. Restitution doesn't always involve money. "What can I do to make it right?"
4. Genuine repentence. Let the offended know you are aware of your offense and that you have a plan of action for not repeating it.
5. Request forgiveness. "Will you please forgive me?" You ask for forgiveness because you want to see the relationship restored.
What happens when we follow the above? We feel better, and we have learned a great life-long skill.
The last three important words are, "I forgive you." They are important because people need forgiveness. "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." Colossians 3:13.
Our hurts are real, and it isn't always easy to say these three words. We want justice, and sometimes we may believe that forgiveness equals no consequences.
Four steps to being able to say and experience these words are (1) to remember our own sins, (2) reframe, (3) recognize the cost, and (4) redemptive blessings.
By forgiving the offender, we are able to let go and experience the warm journey, and both people can be set free.
Is there someone in your life whose forgiveness you need to ask?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Good post. Forgiveness is so important that Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount that if we didn't forgive others, then neither would our heavenly Father forgive us. I am not sure how that all works out, but it makes me want to be a forgiving guy.
Oh, and I beg forgiveness ahead of time for all the hills that will be in the upcoming training runs!
Post a Comment